alright. its monday. it dragged on like usual, but it wasnt too bad. got some new shoes ordered. blacked out DVS Munitions, and i imagine that theyll be here by thursday, so im pumped up about that. now lets finish this story we got going on here, eh?
so just when i thought i was done with C-A-N, as i like to call her, the myspace bitchfest (previously mentioned, kinda) started. this was a solid week of nonstop fighting on why she broke up with me, and me pointing out what she was being dramatic about, wat she made up, etc. you know. the typical rough breakup kind of stuff.
the only thing that came out of this was a loyal swear to myself to take my time with chicks from now on (which ive kept to this day, even though not much has happend), and to NEVER talk to her again, on the comp or in person. This was another funny thing though because one night i guess a couple months after the fighting had stopped, i was with nick at the mall, and we were chillin lookin off the balcony on the second floor, and i see some chicks and a couple dudes on the first floor lookin at us and pointin up, and im like, "hey, there checkin me out". we laughed and got goin again. turns out it was CAN and her friends, and i got a message on myspace a couple days later from her sayin i think i saw you at the mall the other day from her. i was like FUCK THAT and dint respond. that was the last thing ive ever heard from her. told ya ive been loyal to that swear. its actually the only thing promise/swear i think ive ever kept to this day.
so the fast forwards have been doin pretty good so far, so lets do antoher one. this one goes up to about may/the beginning of summer. im just gonna name drop here, and the first chick, sarah, tells me that her and her boyfriend broke up. im not gonna lie, i got a lil excited. i felt it was finally my chance to show her how i really felt. so i was easy at first, but then we hung out one day and it was back to old times. i asked her out, and she said she would go out with me, but (there's always a BUT in my case) she liked this other dude and they had somethin goin on. so im like alrite. backed off again for a lil while, and then we hung out another day a few weeks ago. i went full bore, fifth gear pinned, all out, balls to the wall, watever you wanna call it. i tried too hard, and i realized that it was over. i was really disappointed with myself. then i thought about it though. she has changed alot, and alot of it i dint really care for. she started drinkin a bit, and like i previously said, im presumably straight edge, so this did not work for me. i also realized that we were starting to fall apart from each other. she might've realized it, or she might not've really noticed cause she doesnt care. im not sure, but i dont care.
i really have been tryin to seperate from her a bit. has anyone seen that adam sandler movie 50 first dates (which ironically, maybe?, is a movie weve watched together countless times) where towards the end they decide that its gettin too complicated and they need to just stay away from each other? thats pretty much wats goin on right now. in the end, they get married and stuff, live happily ever after, but i really hope that we dont live hapily ever after. it sounds harsh, but i think its for the best. its definitely hard to let go of someone thats been so close to you for years, but its a decision that ive made and im committing to.
sad ending huh? well, the reality is, there are plenty of people with sad endings, and i just happen to be one of them. hopefully though, its for the better. i really hope so. i want to put everything behind me and just go with life. its gonna be tough, but i can pull it off. ive been through tougher the past 9 months.
right now though, theres a girl (notice no chick on this one, probly means i have a lot respect for her) at school like i said in another entry, that i actually hung out with sophomore year at the christmas ball, and she was thowing some hints (dam that was a long time ago. were talkin about a hail mary of a...well i forgot where i was goin with this) at the time, but i was totally clueless. as you can see, ive never been the best at relationships, so this isnt much of a surprise though. it seems like she still has a thing for me, and actually, i like her too. she seems like my kind of girl. can be hyper at times, but laidback too. as far as i know, she doesnt drink either, so thats a huge plus. i really do hope something comes of this, and im gonna try gettin her soon.
so theres the end of probly the story thats been on my mind for the longest. all i can do is go day by day, but im likin where its going. ill find something to talk about for my next post, so stay tuned and thanks for reading.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
oh, what a nice day
Hey everyone, whats up? last nite was pretty sweet, and it made my weekend im thinkin, even though it was just friday. the game was really great, and we ended up winning 44-0, 3 points better than last year. west next week, so that should also be fun. after the game me and nick went up to the park and chilled with clarissa for a bit. some crazy shit was going on with ppl while me and nick were at the game, so honestly, im kinda glad i wasnt part of it.
so thats all i have to say about yesterday, but i feel like typing more. so i guess ill get my relationship stories out there.
the first relationship(s) i was in was with a chick that i have been friends with since like 2nd or 3rd grade, so she was in 3rd or 4th grade. weve always been pretty close, and in like 6th grade i asked her out, but we didnt. probably a good choice because i was too young for that shit anyways. we did end up starting to go out in i think my 8th grade year. ive always been real shy about relationship-y things (the main reason why ive only had 2 girlfriends), so not much realy happend. we hung out alot, but i dint have the balls to kiss her or anything like that. we kinda went on and off for 2 years until she started going out with a dude that was a couple years older than me. she didnt really cheat on me, just for the record, its just wen we were goin out she called one nite and was like, he asked me out and i like him, so i think im gonna go out with him for a bit, it probly wont last long like the last time. this was the second time in a couple months she had done this. the first time it lasted like a week, but wen she first told me the first time i was so upset. the second time was a whole nother story. i was in a really good mood the night she told me, so it just kinda rolled past wen she told me, and it actually surprised her i think.
so fast forward a few weeks or so, and im pissed as hell. all i can think about is how much i hate this dude. thats all i thought about for months. fast forward again a year later, in the summer. they were still going out and i was startin to get over it. (i know, a year to get over it, but it really hurt deep down). one of her friends on myspace that i dint know started talkin to me one day and we were gettin along well. long story short, we met two days later, and we decided to go out. this is the beginning of the worst decision of my life.
me and this girl, nikki, (im gonna name her cause i dont give a shit, the other chick im a lil hesitant about naming, although the ppl who read this are either gonna know wats happened or theyre not, no inbetween) started going out, like i said. she was pretty cool, but obnoxious at times, but it was alrite. i was just happy to finaly be back in a relationship. i met her family and they were pretty cool, and it turns out her dad was a nascar fan, which was really cool too. i feel that me and her really liked each other, but there was some tension between us from about the halfway point in the relationship. i was startin to figure out that really, we were two different personalities, and it wasnt working out at all. the first thing that really got to me was when id call her. we would talk almost everynight, and there was one point where she wasnt answering at all. she said that it was too late wen id call (which was like 9pm) and shed be asleep by the time id call. i was realy pissed that im tryin to keep the relationship going and that she didnt really show the same to me. it was one of those deals where i was putting way more effort into it than she cared to. another thing that didnt work was that she drank. it wasnt like she was a heavy drinker, but every now and then. i didnt like that at all. (ive never really considered myself to be straight edge, but ive been thinking about it, and i guess i am. not that i dont want to be considered that, but ive never thought about it much before.) so obviously, this was a problem. one more thing that set us apart, and ended up puttin the nail in the coffin, was her sense of humor, or really the lack of it. i find myself to be a fairly funny guy. im laughed at more than im laughed with just because i try to be funny and its not really funny, but hey, ill take it. she was one of those ppl who took jokes too seriously sometimes. i said something (jokingly) about how we should just break up. i dont remember exactly wat led me to say that, but she was pissed off at me as it was that night for previous happenings. we were at a picnic that night, and i had waited for her for an hour and a half to get there, and she and her friend were making up some bullshit excuses, so i wasnt in the mood to play around much either. i ended up leavin the picnic without really saying bye, and tht was the last time i talked to who i now refer to as Crazy Ass Nikki face to face. we had a fight over the phone later on that night, and then another one on myspace that lasted a week, and i was done at that point.
more to come later
so thats all i have to say about yesterday, but i feel like typing more. so i guess ill get my relationship stories out there.
the first relationship(s) i was in was with a chick that i have been friends with since like 2nd or 3rd grade, so she was in 3rd or 4th grade. weve always been pretty close, and in like 6th grade i asked her out, but we didnt. probably a good choice because i was too young for that shit anyways. we did end up starting to go out in i think my 8th grade year. ive always been real shy about relationship-y things (the main reason why ive only had 2 girlfriends), so not much realy happend. we hung out alot, but i dint have the balls to kiss her or anything like that. we kinda went on and off for 2 years until she started going out with a dude that was a couple years older than me. she didnt really cheat on me, just for the record, its just wen we were goin out she called one nite and was like, he asked me out and i like him, so i think im gonna go out with him for a bit, it probly wont last long like the last time. this was the second time in a couple months she had done this. the first time it lasted like a week, but wen she first told me the first time i was so upset. the second time was a whole nother story. i was in a really good mood the night she told me, so it just kinda rolled past wen she told me, and it actually surprised her i think.
so fast forward a few weeks or so, and im pissed as hell. all i can think about is how much i hate this dude. thats all i thought about for months. fast forward again a year later, in the summer. they were still going out and i was startin to get over it. (i know, a year to get over it, but it really hurt deep down). one of her friends on myspace that i dint know started talkin to me one day and we were gettin along well. long story short, we met two days later, and we decided to go out. this is the beginning of the worst decision of my life.
me and this girl, nikki, (im gonna name her cause i dont give a shit, the other chick im a lil hesitant about naming, although the ppl who read this are either gonna know wats happened or theyre not, no inbetween) started going out, like i said. she was pretty cool, but obnoxious at times, but it was alrite. i was just happy to finaly be back in a relationship. i met her family and they were pretty cool, and it turns out her dad was a nascar fan, which was really cool too. i feel that me and her really liked each other, but there was some tension between us from about the halfway point in the relationship. i was startin to figure out that really, we were two different personalities, and it wasnt working out at all. the first thing that really got to me was when id call her. we would talk almost everynight, and there was one point where she wasnt answering at all. she said that it was too late wen id call (which was like 9pm) and shed be asleep by the time id call. i was realy pissed that im tryin to keep the relationship going and that she didnt really show the same to me. it was one of those deals where i was putting way more effort into it than she cared to. another thing that didnt work was that she drank. it wasnt like she was a heavy drinker, but every now and then. i didnt like that at all. (ive never really considered myself to be straight edge, but ive been thinking about it, and i guess i am. not that i dont want to be considered that, but ive never thought about it much before.) so obviously, this was a problem. one more thing that set us apart, and ended up puttin the nail in the coffin, was her sense of humor, or really the lack of it. i find myself to be a fairly funny guy. im laughed at more than im laughed with just because i try to be funny and its not really funny, but hey, ill take it. she was one of those ppl who took jokes too seriously sometimes. i said something (jokingly) about how we should just break up. i dont remember exactly wat led me to say that, but she was pissed off at me as it was that night for previous happenings. we were at a picnic that night, and i had waited for her for an hour and a half to get there, and she and her friend were making up some bullshit excuses, so i wasnt in the mood to play around much either. i ended up leavin the picnic without really saying bye, and tht was the last time i talked to who i now refer to as Crazy Ass Nikki face to face. we had a fight over the phone later on that night, and then another one on myspace that lasted a week, and i was done at that point.
more to come later
Thursday, August 27, 2009
thursday post #2
so ive finished up the intro to my blog, so now i'll continue on with a post of how sweet today was.
at school, we usually have a kickoff bbq at the beginning of the year, just to have a little fun and for transfer students and freshies to get to hang out a lil more before the grind we call the school year gets goin. this year, though, they took the bbq part out of it and made it a kickoff "event". they chopped off 6th and 7th hours from school today, and this was put in its place, opposed to staying after the halfday was over like previous years.
this "event" consisted of a couple of competitions. the first was a water balloon fight. it was pretty much bracket style without the seeds., 4 games at a time (the freshman played freshman homerooms until there was one left, the sophomores played sophomore homerooms till there was one sophomore homeroom left, etc etc.) my homeroom lost its first match, so we just watched from there. it ended up being seniors vs. freshman, and at the end of the game, no one knew who had one because there were rules broke on both sides, so after a few minutes, it was decided there would be a rematch. the seniors won (class of '010 baby!) and we were surprised by finding out that the faculty were facing us to end it all. they won (boo). the real fun was during the matches, there were empty buckets all over and the water balloons were easy to get a hold of. ppl were filling up buckets with water from the spiggot on the football field and throwing it all over each other, and balloons were being thrown at ppl and into crowds, which was funny. i was upset that i dint catch much of the action, but then one of my buddies got me with half a bucket of water.
second event was some sponge thing, but that wasnt that great and we lost that too, so not gonna talk about that at all really.
overall, today was pretty cool. the school part of the day dragged on longer than usual, especially english, but thats expected, right? like i said in my last post, tomorrow is friday and im pumped. hopefully well win the game as i havent seen a win since the 07 season. we killed the team were playin last year, but i couldnt go to the game, so i missed that. well, ill try to get an update in tomorrow before the game, so until then later
at school, we usually have a kickoff bbq at the beginning of the year, just to have a little fun and for transfer students and freshies to get to hang out a lil more before the grind we call the school year gets goin. this year, though, they took the bbq part out of it and made it a kickoff "event". they chopped off 6th and 7th hours from school today, and this was put in its place, opposed to staying after the halfday was over like previous years.
this "event" consisted of a couple of competitions. the first was a water balloon fight. it was pretty much bracket style without the seeds., 4 games at a time (the freshman played freshman homerooms until there was one left, the sophomores played sophomore homerooms till there was one sophomore homeroom left, etc etc.) my homeroom lost its first match, so we just watched from there. it ended up being seniors vs. freshman, and at the end of the game, no one knew who had one because there were rules broke on both sides, so after a few minutes, it was decided there would be a rematch. the seniors won (class of '010 baby!) and we were surprised by finding out that the faculty were facing us to end it all. they won (boo). the real fun was during the matches, there were empty buckets all over and the water balloons were easy to get a hold of. ppl were filling up buckets with water from the spiggot on the football field and throwing it all over each other, and balloons were being thrown at ppl and into crowds, which was funny. i was upset that i dint catch much of the action, but then one of my buddies got me with half a bucket of water.
second event was some sponge thing, but that wasnt that great and we lost that too, so not gonna talk about that at all really.
overall, today was pretty cool. the school part of the day dragged on longer than usual, especially english, but thats expected, right? like i said in my last post, tomorrow is friday and im pumped. hopefully well win the game as i havent seen a win since the 07 season. we killed the team were playin last year, but i couldnt go to the game, so i missed that. well, ill try to get an update in tomorrow before the game, so until then later
intro pt. 2
happy thursday everyone. friday is tomorrow and im stoked. first school football game of the year, and im ready to knock around some freshies in the stands.
so onto finish yesterdays post with a lil more about me, im currently single after some interesting deals. only been with 2 people in my life, one of which has been a close friend forever, and another which this close friend had hooked me up with last summer. i regret that one big time. rushed into that relationship, and well, thats a story for another blog entry. right now though, im into a chick at school, who actually liked me back at the time of me meeting girl #2 and a lil bit before, and i was totally oblivious to it and regret not noticing that as well. im hoping that things can work out in the future for us, but with my luck, god knows.
so to finish yesterdays post (again)(i get carried away sometimes, just so you all know (maybe ADD?)), this blog will probably mostly be used for me to get things off my chest like just relationship-y things or stuff that i feel like gettin out there, or another popular topic of mine, the posts i follow. you see, with the sports that i love, there are a lot of controversies that tick me off, like how people being involved in crashes at 180 mph and getting is cool (still havent really figured that one out yet), and how atheletes in things like MX and skateboarding, bmx, etc, take their share of hard hits, yet for some reason these are laughed at by America's Funniest Home Video and sports comedy show audiences. but once again, this is an argument for another blog entry.
so hopefully i can get people to read and enjoy this blog, and for those who do read it, feel free to comment on my posts and i really hope that you like reading my random shit.
so onto finish yesterdays post with a lil more about me, im currently single after some interesting deals. only been with 2 people in my life, one of which has been a close friend forever, and another which this close friend had hooked me up with last summer. i regret that one big time. rushed into that relationship, and well, thats a story for another blog entry. right now though, im into a chick at school, who actually liked me back at the time of me meeting girl #2 and a lil bit before, and i was totally oblivious to it and regret not noticing that as well. im hoping that things can work out in the future for us, but with my luck, god knows.
so to finish yesterdays post (again)(i get carried away sometimes, just so you all know (maybe ADD?)), this blog will probably mostly be used for me to get things off my chest like just relationship-y things or stuff that i feel like gettin out there, or another popular topic of mine, the posts i follow. you see, with the sports that i love, there are a lot of controversies that tick me off, like how people being involved in crashes at 180 mph and getting is cool (still havent really figured that one out yet), and how atheletes in things like MX and skateboarding, bmx, etc, take their share of hard hits, yet for some reason these are laughed at by America's Funniest Home Video and sports comedy show audiences. but once again, this is an argument for another blog entry.
so hopefully i can get people to read and enjoy this blog, and for those who do read it, feel free to comment on my posts and i really hope that you like reading my random shit.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
intro
Alright. im brendan. if your reading this, you most likely know who I am. i post at a few different forums on "teh internetz" as some ppl say. the ones im at most are thlforums.com, motoxsports.com, and MX Gaming forums. so why say this? cause most likely the people who'll read this are from one of the above.
anyways, i guess i'll get talking a little bit about me and what im here for. im a 17 year old senior at Althoff Catholic High School from belleville, il, a fairly big section of an area surrounded by corn fields galor, about 10 minutes from st. louis missouri.
this being said, im a huge Cardinals fan and proud to live in "Baseball Heaven". im also a huge racing fan. over the past couple years, ive trasferred from being a diehard NASCAR fan to a pretty hardcore MX fan. it's funny how that worked out really. although I never followed it like i do now, i was a big mx fan as a kid. i tore it up for countless hours on various moto games on the N64, and was one of the many (and still am) that hoped to see a dirt bike in the backyard on Christmas day. NASCAR came along in 2001, and i followed it heavily, with the mx not really there at all. i caught some of the end of the outdoor season in 05, and in 06 i started watchin a little more religiously, attending my first supercross the same year. the fact that i have buddies that ride helped the moto bug get to me. the nascar part of me has slipped the past couple of years, as im finding it to be more about money than the racing, which is true in all of motorsports, but its just getting to the point where its not as fun to watch anymore. also, im a Redskins fan. go Skins!
out of the area of sports, my favorite bands right now are Avenged Sevenfold, which I have been following since about 05 i think, and a band that I actually found out originated in STL after I started listening to them, Bullets and Octane. beleive it or not, i have NEVER been to a true concert in my life, but that is gonna change as I am going to see Bullets this november when they come back to STL for the first time in quite awhile. i pretty much have to go though, due to the fact that i have been bitchin at them to get back here for months.
wow. i sure do type alot. i type more than i talk almost, which is one hell of a feat. well, i suppose thats gonna have to be all for now, but ill be back on to explain more or tell ya wat this will focus around probly tomorrow. later party ppl
anyways, i guess i'll get talking a little bit about me and what im here for. im a 17 year old senior at Althoff Catholic High School from belleville, il, a fairly big section of an area surrounded by corn fields galor, about 10 minutes from st. louis missouri.
this being said, im a huge Cardinals fan and proud to live in "Baseball Heaven". im also a huge racing fan. over the past couple years, ive trasferred from being a diehard NASCAR fan to a pretty hardcore MX fan. it's funny how that worked out really. although I never followed it like i do now, i was a big mx fan as a kid. i tore it up for countless hours on various moto games on the N64, and was one of the many (and still am) that hoped to see a dirt bike in the backyard on Christmas day. NASCAR came along in 2001, and i followed it heavily, with the mx not really there at all. i caught some of the end of the outdoor season in 05, and in 06 i started watchin a little more religiously, attending my first supercross the same year. the fact that i have buddies that ride helped the moto bug get to me. the nascar part of me has slipped the past couple of years, as im finding it to be more about money than the racing, which is true in all of motorsports, but its just getting to the point where its not as fun to watch anymore. also, im a Redskins fan. go Skins!
out of the area of sports, my favorite bands right now are Avenged Sevenfold, which I have been following since about 05 i think, and a band that I actually found out originated in STL after I started listening to them, Bullets and Octane. beleive it or not, i have NEVER been to a true concert in my life, but that is gonna change as I am going to see Bullets this november when they come back to STL for the first time in quite awhile. i pretty much have to go though, due to the fact that i have been bitchin at them to get back here for months.
wow. i sure do type alot. i type more than i talk almost, which is one hell of a feat. well, i suppose thats gonna have to be all for now, but ill be back on to explain more or tell ya wat this will focus around probly tomorrow. later party ppl
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